I haven’t talked too much about how the COVID-19 pandemic has been affecting my mental health with anyone other than those who are very close to me. I’m typically very open when it comes to talking about my own personal struggles (the purpose of this blog), but every time I sat down to write this past month or so nothing came to me. It was so frustrating because I feel like I always have so much to talk about.

Once my work closed their doors until further notice due to COVID-19, I immediately fell into the black hole that is depression. I would wake up every morning, move from my bed to my couch and stay there all day. I hardly had the energy to even get up and take a shower. It had been about a year or so since I’ve felt that depressed.

My eating habits drastically changed. In fact, I started feeling like I was using food as a way to comfort myself when feeling sad. I was stressed out thinking maybe I had developed an unhealthy relationship with food. I have always maintained a relatively healthy/balanced diet/lifestyle so this was confusing to me. I gained about 10lbs after maintaining my weight for the past couple years. This sent me into an even deeper depression.

On top of the depression, I was suffering from terrible anxiety. Typically, I experience anxiety at night when trying to fall asleep. My heart races and my mind feels like it’s on a hamster wheel. Since the pandemic I was hardly sleeping at all. Sometimes I would fall asleep at a reasonable hour, but I would wake up several times throughout the night. Or I would experience insomnia and be awake until 6 AM, sleep for 2 hours, and be up all day.

Coming from someone who doesn’t normally dream, I was having the WILDEST dreams/nightmares I’ve ever had in my life. Has this been happening to anyone else?

I noticed I was WAY more irritable than what I felt was normal for me. My fuse was much shorter. I felt like I was quick to get angry and agitated at situations and people. I distanced/isolated myself from a lot of my friends and those who care about me. I was in a constant state of worry (COVID-19 related issues or not).

I have had people reach out to me desperately looking for ways to feel better. Although I wish I had the miracle answer for them, it unfortunately is not that easy. We can only do the best we can with what we have during this time.

The most important thing I’ve told my friends and others who have reached out to me is that they aren’t alone. Whatever you are feeling right now, be sure that others are feeling it too. You aren’t “crazy”.

We are all in extremely challenging times. Please do not be too hard on yourself.

There are some things we all can do to fight for our mental health and I wanted to share them with you.

1. I stopped reading every article that came my way. I limited what I was reading and only read articles from trusted and reliable sources.
2. Isolating myself from my friends and family was doing more harm than good. I made a point to get on FaceTime calls every day.
3. I reached out for professional help from my doctor. Offices are offering video chat appointments. There are helplines that you can use as well and you don’t need to be feeling suicidal to utilize them.
4. Routines are so important to have, especially during these times. Try to reinstate a new routine to help you feel more in control and decrease some of your anxiety. I went on Google and printed out a To-Do List and wrote down everything I want to and need to get done the next day. Being able to cross things off the list gives me a sense of accomplishment!

I know the affect this pandemic is having on our mental health is exhausting. We are MUCH stronger than we believe, and we CAN get through this.